Behler Blog: June 2007

“So why did you reject me?”

I hear that a lot. It’s the sixty four million dollar question that rings a harsh tone in every editor’s ears for the mere reason that it’s a tough question to answer. Perhaps it’s better to ask the counterpunch; “What floats your boat?”

This is far easier to answer from where I sit. Arthur Levine wrote a wonderful piece on what floats his boat, likening great writing to the lovely appearance and fragrance of flowers. Neat metaphor. I’m more of an opera gal myself and liken a great story to hearing Placido Domingo hit the high notes in such a way that I’d swear I’m hearing that note for the very first time. And that’s the crux of it – making me feel like I’m seeing this plot or character for the very first time even though I know good and well that there are very few new seeds growing under the sun.

Face it; it’s hard to be original in this day and age. There are only so many categories to exploit, and the trick is to be able to rehash things like coming of age, love, struggling attorneys, evil corporations, war stories without sounding like you’re singing someone else’s song. This is why I look for personal journeys that carry a strong social relevance. It’s the element, I feel, that makes a story unique.

“Okay, Price,” you say, “I have a great personal journey, and you still rejected me. What gives?”

Chances are the story’s “song” didn’t offered unique and fresh notes. It’s possible the story fell into several categories that had the same effect as Bob Dylan trying to belt out “People, People Who Need People.” Now, Bob could try this, but it’s not his style to sing someone else’s song, but rather to stay true to his own unique voice. That’s where the inspiration and fire originates. Otherwise Bob would be rehashing something that Babs Streisand already does better than anyone else.

I may have rejected you because you failed to meet any of the following criteria:

Did you grab me at the first page? I see so many stories start out slowly – too slowly. I’m yawning by the second page. Yes, I have the attention span of a gnat. So do many readers. I’ve had people write back telling me, “If only you’d stuck with it, this book ROCKS.” Yes, this is lovely, but it’s gotta rock a whole lot sooner. The beginning is a good choice. Keep the reader wanting to turn the page.

Does each chapter have a reason for being there? At first blush this falls into the “duhh” category. But I see this in nearly every rejection. Writers either get sidetracked with a subplot or fall in love with their writing to where they lose the thread. If you think you’re guilty of this, tattoo the following on your forehead: If a chapter doesn’t reveal my plot, stick it in the garbage pot. Yes, it’s corny, but if it takes cornpone to make you a better writer, quit laughing.

Was your writing cliché? Boy, I see this a lot. I’m thrilled to bits that Dan Brown made gazillions for Da Vinci Code, but if I ever see another knock off of this book, I’m going to throw myself under a truck. People; Dan’s already done it, you don’t need to do it again. It’s like a train wreck; stop gawking and move on. Sing a different song – your song. So many writers sit down to write a book and fall into a trap of funneling someone else’s story. Sure, it’s almost always unconscious, but editors sniff this out like a hound dog. Any time someone beta reads your work and says, “Hey this is like John Lescroart’s new book,” you need to worry. Like Dan, John’s already done it. Do something else.

Is it authentic? Meaning are the emotions of the characters in keeping with the story and, if not, is there sufficient backup justifying the behavior/emotion? For example, if a character’s child was tragically killed, you are ill advised to have your character go grocery shopping and ponder what to make for dinner without having some serious justification behind it. Yet I see this incomplete type of writing all the time.

Did you keep your eye on the main ball? Often when we write, we have lots of balls in the air – our subplots. Following a linear line can get dull and to spice up our story we inject subplots. Problem is, it can get easy to lose sight of the main ball and it’s impossible to discern the plot. Just the other day I rejected a very well written manuscript that had wonderful potential. What killed it was the fact that I had no idea what the main theme and plot were. It took a twenty-five minute phone call with the agent and the author, and I was still no closer to a lit light bulb than when I started because they were so busy explaining ALL of the subplots. My sales team doesn’t have twenty-five minutes in which to describe every nuance. This is as easy peasy as asking, “Hey, what’s your book about?” If you can’t figure it out, how on earth can I? Another tattoo for your forehead: If you can’t explain your book in one or two sentences, you have a problem.

How was your punctuation and sentence structure? I hate to even go there. Anyone who writes should know how to use proper punctuation, and I cringe every time I see people claim that the editors will fix punctuation during editing. Wrong, baby, wrong. Punctuation is a part of effective communication, and if a writer doesn’t know where to put a comma or has a plethora of exclamation points, this tells me they don’t care enough about their craft to learn. If they don’t care, why should I? The only allowance I can see is if the writer suffers from a disability. In those cases, the condition should be communicated to the editor. Yes, yes, I’ve seen the argument that some of the Big Hooha Writers can’t spell to save their souls. Great. I have yet to find those writers. Poor punctuation and poor writing usually go hand in hand in my world.

Of course there are many other reasons why Joe Writer got rejected. These are the highlights. There are no magic bullets in this crazy business. What strikes a discord in my ears may be an aria to someone else. Remember, it’s about the writing – always the writing. Keep it real, and sing your own song.

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You know you've done something right when you get love and kisses from a terrific agent. Thankee, kindly, Janet. I'll run after a train with you anytime. Here's to BIG sales and lots more laughs.