Feelin' happy

Are there any sweeter words than hearing the excited voice of a literary agent?

“Lynn! I just got the advanced reader copies. They’re beautiful! This has been such a long road, and to have the books look this good – I could cry.”

I’m sure there are sweeter words, but I can’t think of them right now. I’m going to dine on this for a while.

Writer’s Conferences

This past weekend was spent down in San Diego at the SDSU Writers Conference. What an amazing experience. I can’t recommend writer’s conferences enough. Whether the ink is still wet on your manuscript, whether you’ve just written ‘The End,’ or you’re a published author, spending two days with industry professionals is invaluable.

As I spoke several times to standing-room-only crowds, I couldn’t help but be humbled at their intelligent questions and thoughtful observations. I listened to the frustrations of many writers, read their query letters and first 10 pages, held hands with some, and encouraged others.

I push conferences because this is the one place where we are at your service. We are on call for the entire weekend. I was pitched to in the hallways, in line at the bar, and even in the bathroom. I helped with promo plans and conferred with authors regarding the marketability of their works.

But the main reason I push these conferences is the same reason I blog. Education. Without it, we’re reduced to hoping for the best, oftentimes getting the worst, and sometimes not knowing the difference. Sure, I heard a bit of grumbling from some of the faculty. These conferences are mentally draining. But it’s worth it to me because there’s nothing sweeter than watching an author’s face break out into a wide smile while saying, “Thank you so much for taking the time to talk to me. There is so much I didn’t know before talking to you.”

While comments like these feed my ego, they also fill my soul.

Do It Right the First Time

“I published this book as a co-venture (vanity press/POD) and now I am seeking a mainstream commercial publisher.”

I see this a lot in submissions, and I always wonder why the author didn’t seek a commercial publisher in the first place. The answers vary. Many didn’t know any better. These authors are impatient and undereducated about the industry.

Others became exhausted with being author, distributor, and salesman for books that will never have the backing of their publisher, will never see the store shelves or be reviewed by the trade magazines.

Still others believe that going with a vanity/POD (business plan) gives them total control over the destiny of their books.

What these groups have in common is the belief that they can parlay their book into a bigger, better publisher. Here’s why they can’t:

• My book is HOT, HOT, HOT - “I’ve sold 10,000 copies, the book reached #1 on Amazon’s best seller list and top 20 on Barnes and Noble, was on Oprah, CNN, and GMA. I’ve stopped marketing until I get a mainstream publisher.” This is a collection of actual lines from various submissions. The problem with this thinking is two-fold.

Vetting

I’m going to check those sales – any agent or editor worth their salt will. I take a dim view if those sales are far south of what the author told me. And they usually are. If the author did sell a bucket load, then it’s very possible he would have already come under the scrutiny of the larger houses. But this is few and far between.

One Bite of the Apple

The second reason I won’t be interested in this book is because the author has already hit the major markets. You only get one bite at the marketing apple in terms of media. You can’t turn around a year later and say, “Hey, remember that book I was pitching? Well, it’s out again. Wanna interview me?” Of course, the answer will be no unless something new has developed in society or the book. The publisher and author will have to think up a whole new marketing and promotional strategy. It’s possible the book could be worth it, but these instances are rare. I’ve only done it once, and that’s because the author writes like the wind and the subject matter has huge potential. But most importantly, he hadn’t yet begun to hit his marketing stride, so we still have a large market to promote to.

• The book is still for sale – How many times I’ve done a search on a title only to find that it’s still being actively sold. The author obviously doesn’t understand the conflict this creates for the publisher.

We have no idea what the contractual agreements are between the author and publisher, so why on earth would I waste time getting excited about something that’s still actively being sold by another publisher? How am I to know whether the publisher would agree to release the title?

My second concern is that even if the title is released from the previous publisher, the book continues to live on in all the online stores. This creates confusion for the buyer about which version to buy. As a publisher, I’m not going to take the chance that a buyer will purchase the older copy. I realize the author is hedging his bets – “If I can’t find a publisher, I’ll just stay put.” But he’s actually putting himself in a Catch-22 situation.

• The book needs a lot of work – by going with a POD (business plan) company or vanity press, the quality of editing is usually inferior. Unless the subject matter is something to die for, most editors aren’t going to take the time to rip a poorly edited book apart just to shore it up again. There’s too much great work out there that doesn’t have a history.

What Should I Do?

Hopefully the people reading this haven’t already committed their books to a POD (business plan)/vanity press. Decide what goals you have for your book. Be realistic. Is this truly a St. Martins’ Press, or is it a smaller commercial indie press (which is NOT a POD business plan press)? Get a damn good agent. They are your best friends, the best advocate for your book, and can open doors you can’t. Don’t sell your work short. You can only know this by being savvy about writing and about the industry.

If you have a book with a POD/vanity press and want out, your choices are much smaller. My first inclination is to tell you to write a better book and shop it the right way. If you’re totally committed to your book, then I’d recommend taking it off the market for about a year. During that time, rework it because I have no doubt it needs work. Work with a reputable independent editor who specializes in your genre. When your book is ready to make the submission rounds:

• Be honest about where the book has been. Trust me, we investigate.
• What steps you’ve taken to fix it - editing.
• Have a solid PR plan that transcends anything you did in the past
• Provide a compare and contrast of current title comps that support marketability and demand for your book.

My final advice is to swear to yourself that you’ll never allow ignorance, impatience, or the desire for total control to rule your publishing decisions. Do it right the first time.

Spicing Up the Office

(ring, ring)

“Behler Publications. We have dubbed this Speak Like Star Trek Day (original cast, thank you). This is Bones speaking, how may I help you?”

Book reviewer with very good sense of humor: Dammit, Bones, it’s Star Date Twenty-seven gazillion point one. In order for us to publish this review, I need the cover art and agent information!

Me: Dammit, Jim, I’m a publisher, not a mind reader! I’ll have Lt. Uhura transmit the files over to you in ten nanoseconds! (ever notice how they speak in exclamation points)

(ring, ring)

“Behler Publications. We have dubbed this Speak Like Star Trek Day (original cast, thank you). This is Spock speaking, how may I help you?”

Agent whose winning personality matches her talent: Dammit, get me the Captain, you pointy eared, heartless, radioactive star waste.

Me: Ah, a Klingon from New York. How logically predictable. The Captain is tied up with the Nurse. May I assume from your colorful metaphors that you’re inquiring as to when we’ll finish reading your client’s manuscript?

Agent: Damn skippy. You’ve had it for a light year, and we’d like some feedback.

Me: If you check your tricorder, you’ll see that I transported it out to your exploding star of an assistant last week. Didn’t you get it?

Agent (suddenly contrite): Ah. Sorry, Spock. (heard in the background) "Checkhov, get your Russian hide in this office at once!" Over and out, Spockie, babe. Love the ears and eyebrows. Don’t ever change.

(ring, ring)

“Behler Publications. We have dubbed this Speak Like Star Trek Day (original cast, thank you). This is Captain Kirk speaking, how may I help you?”

Caller: Uh, I’ll call back when you’re feeling normal.

Me: Could be a while. I’m overworked and underpaid.

(ring, ring)

“Behler Publications. We have dubbed this Speak Like Star Trek Day (original cast, thank you). This is Captain Kirk speaking, how may I help you?”

Caller: Hola, is this the El Grande Bresto Clinic?

Me: Agh!! Scotty, shields up! Bring the photon torpedoes online! Fire at will!

(ring, ring)

“Behler Publications. We have dubbed this Speak Like Star Trek Day (original cast, thank you). This is Lt. Uhura speaking, how may I help you?”

Caller: Yes, this is Lt. Warf from the postal annex. We just received a box that’s wrapped up in tin foil and smells like peanut butter. Just what kind of publishers are you, anyway?

Me: Oy vey, another author who thinks wrapping submissions in weird packaging will get my attention. Beam me up, Scotty. The Tribbles have escaped again.

Public service announcement: you may want to wait to call us tomorrow when it’s Talk Like The Pillsbury Dough Boy

Another Indie Bids Adieu

I read the headlines this morning with profound sadness:

Four-year-old Peppertree Bookstore, Palm Springs, Calif., has closed, the Desert Sun reported.

It’s not just the fact that yet another indie bookstore has closed, which is tragic. But this particular store. Peppertree was very active in Palm Springs’ writing community, and was the driving force behind the Palm Springs and Coachella Valley Book Festival. I went every year and had a blast.

My folks live in Rancho Mirage, and it was always fun to see who owner Chris Johnson was bringing in for a book signing and Q&A session. Peppertree was exclusive with a capital ‘E.’ If you weren’t a Name, you weren’t going to get a signing event. As a publisher, it often frustrated me. But as a consumer and avid reader, Chris’ move was a smart one and made good business sense because his store quickly became known for being very classy, yet incredibly friendly. It also brought people into his store, which was filled with the best books in town. But with a proposed big box store looming in the shadows, Chris has to decide its impact on his business. It’s a déjà vu of You’ve Got Mail.

Now I’m a big proponent of letting the competitive market work itself out, but I can’t help but feel like a part of our individuality dies every time an indie store closes its doors.

Independent bookstores are an investment and labor of love. It’s personal. Real blood, sweat and tears are mixed in with every brick in the store because the owner is a true fan of the written word. If I walk into an indie store looking for a book about pygmy Scandinavians who knit toilet paper doilies, the owner will know if the book exists and where it’s shelved. Indie owners deposit their personal imprint upon their stores and give it a unique personality. Store chains have the vast fortunes of a corporation supporting them. While they have superior stock and square footage, it’s a lot like McDonalds – you can go into one in Barstow or Thailand and get the same feel and food. And these days, I get really tired of the same ol' same ol'.

Best of luck to you, Chris. Your loss will be felt.

Editing doesn't have to hurt

Take a look at this – doesn’t matter that it’s in Dutch – it’s a great visual metaphor for how I feel about editing manuscripts. It starts slowly with a tip of a bucket and builds momentum to the point where it can become explosive, heated, and make a hell of a mess. But in the end, it's party time.

(Thanks, Dino.)

Looking Ahead

I always love the beginning of a new year. I wipe the old calendar off the wall and put up a fresh one before looking at the new releases we have for the year. These are just a few.

News At Ten: Sixty Years With Stan Chambers – release date Feb 15. This is a project that’s near and dear to my heart because I’ve loved Stan Chambers since I was a kid. If he was reporting a story, I knew I was getting all the facts, and the world would be okay. We’re excited about throwing a huge book launch/charity bash with all the Hollywood dignitaries at the Griffith Park Observatory in early March. It’s right next to the giant Hollywood sign and has the best seat in the house in terms of view.

Wheeling the Deal: The Outrageous Legend of Gordon Zahler, Hollywood's Flashiest Quadriplegic – release Feb 15. Author / investigative journalist Chip Jacobs writes so well he makes me cry. Honest to God. This story about Chip’s amazing uncle Gordon made me laugh and made my heart ache. He’s truly one of the best writers I’ve ever read. You may pay me that $50 now, Chip.

Mommy, I’m Still In Here – release Feb. 15. Rarely do I shove everything off the desk to read a manuscript right then and there. But I did with Mommy. Just the title brought tears to my eyes. Kate is first rate at getting into someone’s heart and never letting go.

Looks Like Howard: An irreverent memoir of death, childhood, and growing up – release date March 1. Howard went against everything I accept. It was too short and made up of vignettes. But I couldn’t help myself. Author Patty Kambitsch had me laughing up a lung because she remembers so vividly what it’s like to be a kid and how those experiences impact the adults we become. I love this book, and the cover busts me up every time I look at it.

Marching Up Madison Avenue: How I beat the entrepreneurial odds armed with a pencil and my imagination – release date May 1. How I adore this book. Richard Gilbert encapsulates the idea that if you’re armed with not much more than a pencil and a few great ideas, that Every Man can make a success. His advertising agency rose up to meet and greet the big Goliaths of the industry, and he came out very respected for his unique talents and wonderful sense of humor. His incredible career began at the heyday of great ads – the 40’s – 70’s and set a high bar of talent that few have been able to surpass. I found myself pointing at the manuscript and saying, “Hey! I remember that ad!”

There are a number of manuscripts still in the pipeline, and I’m thrilled for every one of them. As our company grows and we become a bigger blip on the industry radar, I can always look back and thank the infinite talent of our authors. They’re the ones who will make 2008 a fabulous year.

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